10 Lessons from Iris Barbosa for Manufacturers Who Want to Stop Being an Empty Sack
Iris Barbosa started at McDonald’s scrubbing grease off fryers and ended up wiping out the competition at Apple. If she could do it, so can you—even if all you make are plastic paddling pools and bouncy castles. Or maybe not. It depends on whether you’re willing to step out of your comfort zone (and away from the stench of PVC).
The 10 “C’s” of Success (Adapted for Those Who Run on Hot Air)
1. Commitment (Or How Not to Deliver a Half-Deflated Inflatable)
“If your client orders a 5-metre pink unicorn, don’t deliver a grey horse with flatulence.”
- Iris treated fries like gold. Do you treat the product that costs €200 to make and sells for €2000 with the same respect?
2. Courage to Innovate (Or How to Stop Making the Same Bloody Dinosaurs)
Apple bet on Iris when she only knew how to fry nuggets. You’re still using the same patterns from 2010. Innovate or go extinct—your choice.
3. Human Connection (Or How Not to Treat Employees Like Air Compressors)
Iris led veterans with decades of experience. You scream at Joe because he didn’t inflate the giant bear in 30 seconds. Tip: People aren’t machines.
4. Culture of Discipline (Or “Why the Hell Does This Keep Failing Quality Control?”)
At McDonald’s, fries had to be perfect in 10 minutes. Your inflatables burst at the first bounce. Checklists aren’t wall art.
5. Continuous Curiosity (Or “Google Exists—Use It”)
Iris taught herself Spanish. You don’t even know the 2024 inflatable trends. Spoiler: No one wants your generic dragon.
6. Communication (Or “Talking Isn’t Shouting”)
“If your tone of voice were an inflatable, it would’ve popped by now.”
- Iris convinced Apple execs without raising her voice. You can’t even explain to Carlos in production that “no, the client doesn’t want a turquoise-blue elephant” without foaming at the mouth.
- Tip: Complete sentences. Words. Not just grunts and pointing at the factory floor.
7. Credibility (Or “Promise and Deliver”)
“If you say the unicorn can handle 20 kids, don’t let it burst with two.”
- At McDonald’s, Iris guaranteed crispy fries every time. You promised 48-hour delivery, and the client’s still waiting since Carnival.
- Rule: If you can’t deliver, shut up. Or add a line to the quote: “Price Includes Lies.”
8. Creativity (Or “Copying Isn’t Inspiration”)
“Your ‘exclusive design’ is a knock off Pikachu from AliExpress with a face edited in Paint.”
- Iris innovated at Apple, while you’ve spent 10 years making worse versions of the same slide.
- Exercise: Open Google. Search “2025 inflatables.” Cry. Then create something that doesn’t look like it was made by a drunk primate.
9. Emotional Control (Or “Don’t Take It Out on Your Staff”)
“Maria in sewing isn’t to blame because your wife left you.”
- Iris led through crises without snapping at her team. You’ve called the intern “useless” because the dinosaur pattern looked depressed.
- Therapy: Scream into a box. Then sit down and act like an adult.
10. Social Contribution (Or “How to Greenwash Properly”)
“Donating a punctured inflatable to an orphanage does not make you a philanthropist.”
- Iris created real training programmes. You sponsor a kids’ football match and slap your logo across the pitch.
- Suggestion: Recycle your trash. Or at least stop throwing it in the regular trash, you environmental criminal.
Bonus: Extra C (To Annoy You Further)
11. Ruthless Capitalism (Or “If You’re Going to Exploit, At Least Be Good at It”)
“Your profit shouldn’t rely on paying minimum wage.”
- Iris climbed the career ladder. You hire illegals and still complain that “no one wants to work.”
- Fact: Slavery ended in 1761. Catch up.
How to Apply This to Your Factory (If You Even Care)
For Small Manufacturers
- Stop using materials that look like bin liners. The client notices.
- Train your team. Yes, even Manuel, who’s “known it all for 20 years,” is screwing up.
For Big Companies
- Automate, but don’t be stupid. Robots can’t replace brains.
- If your product is crap, marketing won’t save it. Improve it first.
Between the Lines
Leading in this industry is like inflating a punctured bouncy castle: if you don’t patch the holes, it all collapses. Iris Barbosa rose because she refused mediocrity. Will you?
IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER! This article is a humorous satire and should not be taken as a real guide. The tactics described are exaggerated for comedic effect and entertainment purposes. In real life, we recommend competing ethically, creatively, and within the law. Or not? 😉
Inflated Greetings!
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