Why Playing Nice Only Lines Someone Else’s Pockets
Negotiating as an inflatable manufacturer isn’t for the faint-hearted. While you’re busy worrying about “healthy relationships,” your competitor is extracting outrageous margins from desperate clients and crushing suppliers like ants.
Fancy joining the game? Here are the unwritten rules no one has the guts to tell you.
1. BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement): Your Supplier Is Replaceable (Treat Them That Way)
The moralistic fairytale: “Build solid partnerships with suppliers!”
The brutal truth: If the bloke selling you PVC thinks he’s irreplaceable, show him the door.
- Pit suppliers against each other like kids fighting over sweets.
- Make it clear three others are queuing up with better prices (even if they aren’t).
- Phrases that work: “Your competitor offered 10% less. What can you do for me? (awkward silence)”.
2. Anchoring: The First Liar Wins
The fairy tale: “Be fair and transparent with pricing!”
The naked truth: Whoever speaks first steals the narrative.
- If your inflatable costs 500€, say it’s 900€ and “do them a favour” by dropping to 700€.
- Whinging customers? Give them a “discount” that was already baked into your target price.
- Golden rule: Never, ever, under any circumstances let the customer name the first number.
3. Multiple Offers: The Illusion of Choice
The myth: “Give customers options to feel in control!”
The real play: Every option benefits you.
- Option A: High price + “free delivery” (which you’ve already factored in).
- Option B: “Low” price + payment terms that give you instant cash flow.
- Option C: “Flash sale” (that lasts six months).
Result? The customer thinks they chose, but you knew their pick all along.
4. Reciprocity: The “Favour” Trap
Corporate nonsense: “Be generous to build trust!”
The real tactic: Concessions are bait for bigger wins.
- Offer a 5% “discount” for upfront payment.
- Throw in “free maintenance” if they triple their order.
- The secret: Make the customer feel indebted to you. Then collect—with interest.
5. Framing: Sell Air, Charge Like Gold
The drivel: “Show your product’s real value!”
The shameless manipulation: Your inflatable isn’t plastic—it’s a “profit generator.”
- Don’t sell a bouncy castle. Sell “the attraction that triples your playground’s revenue.”
- Don’t charge 1,000€. Say it’s “an investment with a guaranteed ROI in two months.”
- Remember: People don’t buy products. They buy stories that justify their stupidity.
Between the Lines
Be the Pirate of the Inflatable Market
- Suppliers are disposable—treat them accordingly.
- Lie first, adjust later (the market calls this “positioning”).
- Offer fake choices—all must serve you.
- Trade “favours” strategically—then claw back double.
- Sell dreams, not inflatable plastic.
Negotiation is war. Either you bleed, or you do the bleeding.
P.S.: If this offended you, maybe you’re not cut out for real profits. Run back to your business ethics workshop and let the grown-ups work.
IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER! This article is a humorous satire and should not be taken as a real guide. The tactics described are exaggerated for comedic effect and entertainment purposes. In real life, we recommend competing ethically, creatively, and within the law. Or not? 😉
Inflated Greetings! 🏴☠️
Did you like this content? To stay up-to-date with all the news, follow our social networks in the footer.
