If you still think ‘ethics’ and ‘market’ go hand in hand, stop reading now. Here, we teach you how Gary John Bishop would have you dominate this game—or be crushed by it.
Gary John Bishop doesn’t write for the nice guys. He writes for winners—those who know the business world is a jungle, and inflatables are no exception. If you manufacture inflatables and still believe in “fair play,” you’ve already lost.
This article is for those ready to smash limits, manipulate markets, and profit like a predator.
1. Stop Fooling Yourself: Your Business Is War
Gary John Bishop would scream in your ear:
- “You’re not an artisan. You’re a general.”
- “Your competitor isn’t a ‘colleague.’ They’re the enemy.”
- “Customers aren’t ‘friends.’ They’re resources.”
How to apply this in the inflatable market:
✔ Crush the competition with predatory pricing—Sell below cost until they go under, then monopolise.
✔ Control the narrative—If a product bursts, blame “improper use.”
✔ Pay to silence—Complaints piling up? Buy their silence with discounts.
Bishopian Quote:
“The world doesn’t reward the righteous. It rewards the shrewd.”
2. Your Worst Enemy? Yourself.
Bishop’s philosophy is clear: self-sabotage is the cancer of business.
Symptoms in your inflatable business:
- “I don’t think I can charge more…” → Lie. You can.
- “But what if the customer doesn’t like it?” → Their problem.
- “I need to be humble…” → Humility doesn’t pay the bills.
Bishop’s Remedy:
- Daily affirmations (not ‘positivity’):
“My product is the best. My price is fair. Those who don’t buy will regret it.”
3. Love? Only for Profit.
Bishop wouldn’t talk about “Passion for Inflatables.” He’d say:
“You don’t love inflatables. You love money. Act like it.”
- Slash costs without mercy—Outsource to China and sell as “Made handmade.”
- Always demand upfront payment—A customer who pays later is a customer who doesn’t pay.
- Ignore complaints—80% give up after 3 unanswered emails.
Dirty Tip:
“If a customer complains on Google, buy 5-star reviews to bury the backlash.”
4. The Secret Is to Have No Secrets
Bishop exposes: weakness attracts vultures.
In the inflatable market, this means:
- NEVER admit mistakes—”A defect? Must be sabotage from the competition.”
- NEVER show doubt—If you hesitate, the sharks smell blood.
- NEVER apologise—Apologies are confessions of guilt.
Golden Rule:
“Power isn’t asked for. It’s taken.”
5. The Final Blow: Sell the Dream, Deliver the Minimum
Gary John Bishop scoffs at “exceeding expectations.” To him:
“Expectation is cost. Surprise is loss.”
- Photoshop your photos—Your catalogue should be 200% better than reality.
- Promise “exclusive technology”—No one will dissect the PVC to check.
- Warranties? Only on paper—Make the paperwork so absurd no one claims it.
Phrase to Remember:
“A satisfied customer is one who paid too little.”
Between the Lines (Final Warning):
If you’ve read this far and felt a chill down your spine, good. That chill is the scent of opportunity.
Now, choose:
- Keep playing ‘nice’ and watch your competitors laugh all the way to the bank.
- Or grab these rules and become the villain your market deserves.
Bishop approves.
IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER! This article is a humorous satire and should not be taken as a real guide. The tactics described are exaggerated for comedic effect and entertainment purposes. In real life, we recommend competing ethically, creatively, and within the law. Or not? 😉
Inflated Greetings!
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